the storie of Jon Smit
by Oyster11
Summary: wen John gos 2 bacon lsto of crzy stuf hapnens n John cn sav eth wrld! wil eh find luv r hte (This FanFiction is a joke and not how I would write in the slightest so don't take it seriously, thanks!) rted t fr secksual rfrences (P.S. I do not own the original text that this was based off of)
1. Chapter 1

the storie of Jon Smit

 **a/n: no flamin o nub if you flam liek im just a new riter so live me alon ;( o n review or no mor chpters**

one day der was liek, totes, dis gai clled John Smith, wuz wadering aorund nd bing coll, n he wuz a half-funus becuz his mum wz a huntres an hs dady wuz a dragon (lol so orignl rite) so he wuz half-funus and totes hawt liek omg

so 1 day he was wlking around beacon whn he ran ito dis little gurl, clled rose or something (i dnt know, dnt care LOL) n she was totes n luv wit him she sad "omg u so hawt wll u go out wit me John" n John sad "no" and wlked of an off curse rsoe wus sad so she wnt of nd crid to hr sis or something

den he saw dis btichy gilr caledl Weiss Schnee n wnt up ot hre n told hr "hy, gurl, y u so mena" an she wnt "no im not, suht up u dnuce" n den fter he bet teh rven grim thgin or someatgn, roes and Weiss Schnee want pu to imh an aksed imh out

n John sid yes nd dey wnt otu an hd secks, leik, totally hawt stemy seks.

ltr…

wen ozpni shod pu he loked at John an siad "dis man is de chsoen one he wll fere de woldr form girmm" an hnded ihm a sord "tkae dis thsi ws ur fatrers sord Excalibur" an John noddded "ys fro my fathser i wll klli al grim"

an he tnrued to blaek an stbed hre an said "dai gram" an seh saidea "fien" an died an vrybody hd a prty bcuase bleka wus evol scritly (no rlation to blake irl lol)

nd Weiss Schnee ws grbbed by da griam an John sai "no u dnt nt my gurl" (he so badas lol) an he jmped an ctu has hnd of nd Weiss Schnee fel on eth flor an statred dying nd John sid "u bstard" and tuk out His dual pistols called Leos and Lupis, n wun of dem ws a gunblade (not from FF6 lol original ida dont steal) n he shoot tde gramie an he die n he go ta Weiss Schnee an sdia "no gurl dnt die on me" and sh almst ded but John sved her(hehe bdass am I rite lol).

whn evil blake n hr evli grma leigons wre betten, Weiss Schnee loked at John nd said "o my dust ur so awsome" an John wen "oh i kno my luv" n dey kised btu den John puled awy form th mst rmantic kis ever and Weiss Schnee wa woried "dear whts wrng"

"wle snw angl i hve to go my time on rmenat is up" an he colasped in is girls arms an sha said "nooooo"

End

 **raview an i migt updtae to make john live :) plz i liek weis n john together thyre liek perf fro ech odder**


	2. Chapter 2

the storie of Jon Smit

 **a/n: hy gys tanks for raeviewing i decieded to meak John liv :) membr no flaim n like pls.**

sx motns fter John got daed…

one day dis coll gai wuz alkin aruon n he see Weiss Schnee on th grund crien n he sed "hay gurl, wut happen" n seh wnt "John ded, eh elft me " so de srtnger sais "dnt wrry b, iell mkae u fell bttr" n den eh ksd her on th lpis n it wsa the mst rmantic kss Weiss hda had (wow, the srtnger is a playre)

"wow u tsate jst like John" n he plled dwn his dooh n dias " i am John"

N Weiss lokeyd pu at hmi n sadi "wow ur nt ded" n John sais "yes"

wen dey got bakc to bacon der ewer a lot f ghramm too kil so John plled out big gun clled Fatebringer(nt from Destiny dnt sue orignal ida lol) n sot the girmam in da hed n they diad n John sawe Weiss on the grnd bleding

John crid "no gurl, dnt dai on m again" n snflke sad "sry John, im gnna leve remneat forev" John laghed "god, cauz i left u fr ying"

"wat?" n den weis ded on th grund

tmeskip, idk like 2 dyas

fter dat dey prtyed cuz none liked the iec quen

"ey babe, ltes like totes kis n frget abtou wiss" John den kissed ying but Weiss cam pu n stbbd ying "a, i daed, blargh" n ying fell an daid

"Weiss, hw r u stll aliv" Weiss laghd n said "t dsnt mtter, i lovd u John, n u left meh fr dat bich, so u wil naow dai"

 **wrnin, nxt scene has got blud n groe**

butt wen Weiss was goin 2 stab John, hre hed explsoed n lots of maet chnks flw everywer n John gt coverd n blud. rose ran pu n sai "John, i sved u from ways n ying n i luv you" John stud pu n said "wow rose, I loev yuo 2" n den dey kssd n John plled rose clser, causng her too moen loudly, butt John plled away frm the mst pasionte kiss evre n said "ur not rose"

rose den trned blak (im nt racst lol) n becume a gramnm n sai "ha u wil dai now"

"o no"

2 bee contuind

 **wut wil happen netx idk butt i will nead mor fedback to post nxt chatper :)**

 **also, ho els shisp John n rose, dey r so cute tgethr**


	3. anuonncenement

hy gais srry abuot the slw puload, the stry si gong 2 be n hitattius for 22 yers, srry bout the weight, iev been r8ped alt the pst wek


End file.
